Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
