No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
