Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
