why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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