He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You were trust falling into bushes
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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