I got chris browned last night
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize