Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Randomize
