R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
