We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
