Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
