are you so shy because you have an std?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
