Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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