You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
