So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
