i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
