remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
