why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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