Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
