i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
