yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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