Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
