Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
