after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
