i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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