it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
