i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
