4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
