dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I could have mohawked her pubes.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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