CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
