Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
