you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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