My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
NoShamevember. You game?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
