So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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