On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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