I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
