my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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