cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize