There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
