Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
