This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
