Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
