I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
