we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
