3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
