somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
