Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize