In the future we'll all be gay
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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