sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize