id be glad to
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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