I hate all girls vehemently.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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