stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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