another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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