We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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