After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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