I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
