Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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