dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Randomize
